A Glimmer of Hope
by transmutejun
Summary: A young Jun wonders hopes for a better life at the Mt. Jupiter Orphanage. This story is part of my Origins AU, focusing on Jun's beginnings.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Don't wander too far! We have to be back at the bus in forty minutes!" the teacher admonished, all of the students nodding mechanically as they departed. It was rare that the children from the Mt. Jupiter Orphanage went anywhere. While the children at the town schools had many field trips each year, they had parents to donate funds to defray the costs. The orphanage had no such luxury, and as such, their school often went without.

Occasionally, the government officers were inclined to charity, and thanks to one such inclination, they had decreed that one day each year, the Mt. Jupiter Orphanage School would be allowed to visit the state park at the foot of the mountain for which the town (and the orphanage) was named, free of cost. However, the personnel who ran the park were unhappy with the lack of admission fees earned by such charity, and as a result allowed all of the other schools in the area to have first pick of dates and times to visit the park. This meant that the Mt. Jupiter Orphanage School only visited the state park once each year, usually on a weekend or holiday, when no other school wished to take their turn. Such was true this year as well, for it was not only a Saturday, but also October 31st. The children at the town schools were preparing costumes and getting ready for trick-or-treating. The children at the orphanage had no costumes, and would receive no candy that evening, so the field trip was a welcome diversion, because they loved this annual event.

Ever since she had been old enough to go to the park, Jun had taken this opportunity to run free among the wild grasses and in the forests. Their time was brief, and made briefer still by an obligatory nature lecture (all to make the trip more 'educational' for the youngsters) but it was their chance to leave the orphanage and explore.

Although Jun had been born at the Mt. Jupiter Orphanage, she had only begun attending school there when she had turned four years old. That year had been her first at the state park. Now she was seven, and this was her fourth visit, yet her excitement at the adventure had only grown. At the orphanage, too many children were crammed into a small space, and she always felt crowded, with no place where she could just be on her own. But here there were wide open spaces and secluded forests, where she could enjoy her solitude.

With this in mind, she ran in the opposite direction from the others, who generally gravitated toward the lake and its rocky shore. Jun ducked into the trees, looking upward to see the sunlight filtering in through the branches above her, creating a pleasant dappled effect on the forest floor below. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, reveling in the cool, crisp air and heady pine scent surrounding her.

After a few moments of this, she began to explore. She touched trees to feel their bark, turned over rocks and leaves to see what was underneath, squealing when she uncovered a bug. She moved through the gaps between the trees, feeling as if she was alone on the Earth.

Until she heard a cry.

It was a soft yelp at first, and then it devolved into a quiet keening. While she had wanted to be alone, Jun couldn't help but empathize with the creature making that sound. Perhaps an animal had been caught in a trap? She was a little afraid of approaching strange animals, but she didn't like to think of anything in pain. Carefully, she crept through the woods, following the sound, until she was certain it was coming from behind the tall tree in front of her. It appeared to be ancient, its wide trunk measuring further across than Jun thought she could stretch her arms. Curiously, she edged around the tree, peering at the other side, expecting to see a small animal, perhaps a bird.

It was a baby.

Immediately, Jun stepped out from behind the tree, causing the baby to look up at her. It stopped crying, staring at her expectantly. Jun crouched down, hardly believing what she saw.

The child was filthy, with a full, stinking diaper, torn clothing and a surprising amount of matted hair, given the young age. Through the layers of dirt, Jun guessed the baby to be about a year old, but then revised her estimate upward slightly when the child rose on wobbly legs and took a few uncertain steps toward her. It was clear that the child had been wandering in the forest for some time. But for how long? Even at the orphanage, where food was hardly plentiful, babies had something of a chubby look about them, but this child was as thin as a rail. Her heart breaking, Jun instinctively held out her arms.

The child ran toward her, pulling at her hair and snuggling against her chest. Tiny fingers went into the small mouth, and no protest was made when Jun rose, carrying the baby with her. While most children of this age would have weighed at least ten kilos, this one was no burden to the seven year old girl as she began to walk back to the bus.

She arrived just as the teacher began calling back the other children, who were straggling in from the direction of the lake.

"Teacher, look what I found!" Jun said, holding up the child.

"What in the world?" The teacher recoiled instinctively from the filthy baby, yet regained her senses and peered closely. "It appears as if this little one has been outside for a while. The parents must be very worried. We'll check in at the park office and leave it there."

"So should I bring the baby on the bus?" Jun asked.

"Yes, yes, just don't sit near the other students. Who knows what kind of germs that child has, what you might have picked up just from touching him?"

Jun frowned at this last: the baby wasn't any more germy than the other children, just dirtier. And it wasn't like they didn't get dirty often enough. But grownups were always so picky about dirt for some reason. So Jun did as she was told and got onto the bus, placing herself in the front near the teacher's seat and holding the baby on her lap. The other children stared at her as they returned, eyes goggling at the filthy child sitting in unnatural silence and clutching at Jun's hair.

The teacher finally returned, making a head count and getting behind the wheel. She drove down the path, and Jun heard a sea of whispers behind her. Everyone wanted to know what had happened, yet Jun couldn't tell them. She barely knew herself what was going on.

The bus pulled over at the park office, and the teacher stood up, admonishing the children to remain in their seats. Then she beckoned Jun to come with her as she stepped off the bus. Jun complied, following the teacher into the small office, where a park ranger awaited them.

"So, did everyone have a good time?" the ranger asked as they entered.

"Yes, but Jun found this child in the forest." the teacher explained, stepping aside and gesturing. The ranger gasped in surprise, reaching down for the baby. Jun attempted to hand the child over, yet found that the tiny fingers were surprisingly strong in their grip around her hair.

"There's a baby changing station in the restroom." the ranger said finally, giving up on his attempt. "I think there are a few extra diapers. Why don't you try to clean it up?"

Jun nodded in agreement, bringing the baby over to the bathroom. The changing station inside was conveniently positioned next to a sink, and just as the ranger had said, there were a few diapers in a small cabinet on the wall. Growing up at the orphanage, Jun had often volunteered to help with the little ones, so she was no stranger to a diaper change. Yet she had never encountered a baby as filthy as this one! She took off the child's onesie, which was in shreds, tossing it into the garbage. There was no way it could be saved. There was no other clothing.

The disgusting diaper followed the onesie, and it was then that Jun discovered that the child was a boy. She wrinkled her nose, staring at him.

"Just a like a boy to cause all of this trouble." she admonished, yet her tone was gentle. "Let's see if we can get you cleaned up." She placed him into the sink, running warm water over as much of his body as she could. The child seemed to relax, letting go of her hair and splashing a bit, even looking up at her with a slight smile. She used wet paper towels to clean the rest of him, save his hair, which needed a proper wash. She pulled out a few random twigs and leaves, then turned off the water and dried the baby.

"What's your name?" she asked him. He seemed old enough to speak, yet she hadn't heard him utter a word. He did not break this pattern, only looking up at her seriously.

"I'm Jun." she told him, placing his tiny hand on her chest, "Jun."

When there was no response, she sighed, grabbing one of the diapers and putting it on. Fortunately, it seemed to be about the correct size. When she was done, she picked the child up again and brought him back out into the office. The ranger was looking at his computer panel and speaking with the teacher.

"From this report, it looks as if the fortress has been destroyed." the ranger was explaining.

"The fortress?" the teacher asked. "What fortress?"

"There is an old fortress in the middle of the park, about a kilometer up the mountainside." the ranger explained. "It is the ancient home of the Iga Ninjas, and is still home to a small group of warriors, although they call themselves the Jupiter Ninjas now, after the mountain. We protect their ancient grounds, and let them live in peace, away from the rest of society."

"What does this have to do with the baby?"

"It looks as if the fortress was hit by lightning a couple of days ago." the ranger replied. "Reports are that it is badly damaged, and the interior is burned. Apparently, the surviving inhabitants fled to a small village nearby, inside the protected grounds. I suppose it's possible that this baby…"

The child chose that moment to begin crying in a demanding fashion, and both the ranger and the teacher turned, noticing Jun's reappearance.

"I think he's hungry." Jun offered apologetically.

"There is some cereal in that cupboard over there." the ranger told her. Jun went to the cupboard, finding the box and starting to pour some cereal into a paper cup. As soon as he saw what she was doing, the boy quieted, yet he grabbed fiercely for the box, making it difficult for Jun to accomplish her task.

"No." Jun stated firmly, pushing the boy's hand away, yet he persisted.

"You're quite the little warrior, aren't you?" she laughed, and the sound seemed to calm him. She was able to get the cereal into the cup, and when she gave it to him, he beamed, revealing a large mouth with three teeth sticking out at a sharp angle. He began to eat, and his body relaxed, curving into hers as he snuggled against her, the cup of cereal clutched again his chest.

"A warrior, but also gentle." Jun mused. "A gentle warrior. Jin Pei."

The boy smiled at her, his mouth full of cereal.

"Since you don't have a name, that's what I'll call you. Jinpei." she decided. The boy appeared to pay no mind as he enjoyed his meal. Jun returned to the front desk, walking up to hear the end of the ranger's conversation.

"No one in the village claims this boy." the man frowned. "It looks as if his parents must have died in the fortress."

"So he's an orphan?" Jun asked, approaching them.

"It would appear so." the ranger confirmed. "And since you are from the orphanage…"

"I understand." the teacher nodded, a weary expression on her face. "I feel for the boy, but we're already stretched thin."

"I can watch him." Jun offered. "I'll make sure he isn't any trouble."

"You've got a great little helper, there." the ranger told the teacher.

"Jun certainly is good with the little ones." the teacher agreed. "And in this case, it will be of great help. If he truly is an orphan, we will be required to accept him, regardless."

They made their way back to the bus, where the other children, restless from the long wait, were rough-housing and banging on the windows. They were young enough that a sharp blast on the teacher's whistle calmed them down, and the curiosity of the child in Jun's arms distracted them, particularly now that he was significantly cleaner.

"Who's that?" they asked. "What's he doing with you?"

"His name is Jinpei." Jun told them. "He's a orphan too, so he's coming back with us."

This news seemed to satisfy the other children, who began whispering amongst themselves. Yet it was clear that they were still intrigued by the new arrival. For his part, Jinpei sat quietly on Jun's lap, staring at everything with wide eyes. His hands no longer clutched at her hair, but he still grabbed at her arm, her shirt, anything he could reach to maintain a connection between them.

When they arrived at the orphanage, Jun got off of the bus, taking Jinpei to the administrative offices. The teacher accompanied her and explained the baby's arrival to the people there, before taking her to the nurse's office.

Jinpei was clearly reluctant to let go of Jun, but the nurse's strong, gentle hands eventually convinced the boy otherwise. Jun helped bathe Jinpei properly, and he was issued a set of clothes.

"You won't be able to stay with him." the nurse advised Jun. "It's better to make a break now."

"Can't I be with him?" Jun asked. "I'm already assigned to help with the little ones for my chores."

"Well, yes, I suppose that would be fine, as part of your chores." the nurse said, staring at Jun shrewdly. "You've developed quite an attachment to him, and in a very short period of time."

"He needs me." Jun shrugged, not able to explain it to herself, much less another person. "He was all alone out there, waiting for me."

"Yes, I gather you found him in the forest." the nurse nodded, as she began examining Jinpei. It seemed that the baby was a bit ticklish, as he began to giggle when she ran her hands over him lightly. "He's very thin, and has a terrible case of diaper rash, but otherwise he seems to be okay. It's amazing that he survived this long on his own." She gave him a sippy cup of milk, which Jinpei accepted and began slurping quickly.

"How long do you think it was?" Jun asked curiously.

"I gather his home was destroyed two days ago." the nurse replied. "That's consistent with what I'm seeing here, in terms of his physical state. I'm guessing that he's about a year old, and seems to be in good health, given the circumstances."

"A year old…" Jun repeated to herself.

"Maybe a couple of months older." the nurse added. "It's difficult to tell, as every child is different, and given his weakened state, I can't assess his developmental milestones at the moment."

"He was walking," Jun recalled, "but he hasn't said anything. Not even his name."

"No name?" the nurse repeated, as she began filling in the report on her computer.

"Well… I gave him a name." Jun admitted. "Jinpei. Because he's a gentle warrior."

"Well, it certainly fits!" the nurse smiled. "Fine, Jinpei it is. Now for birth date…"

"Today." Jun said quickly. "He's about a year old, right? And then he'd always remember the day he was found."

"But it's Halloween. Isn't that bad luck, to have a birthday on All Hallows Eve?"

"He's had good luck today." Jun pointed out. "I found him. Besides, we need something to celebrate…" Her voice drifted off, and the nurse nodded with a sad smile. Although the children at the orphanage had no candy or costumes, they understood what they were missing. A distraction could only be a good thing.

"Okay, I'll mark his birthdate as October 31st." the nurse agreed. "Now you run along to dinner and let me bring Jinpei in to the nursery. You can come see him tomorrow, after breakfast."

"Thank you!" Jun grinned at the nurse, before waving at the child. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jinpei!"

She ran off to dinner, feeling happier than she would normally have done on a Saturday evening, particularly a holiday evening when the children at the orphanage would not be celebrating. She held the thought of Jinpei close to herself, a glimmer of hope in her heart and a smile on her face as she collected her food from the line and began to eat.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next day was Sunday, and as such, the children at the orphanage had few assigned duties and were free to do as they wished. Normally, Jun spent her Sundays reading the motorcycle magazines she had scavenged from the students who worked at the back of the orphanage, in the machine shop. There were few trades available to the children who graduated from the orphanage's high school, but mechanic was one of them. Normally, the shop was filled with older boys, but Jun slipped in as often as she could. There was something about the smell of the place: grease, gasoline and paint. It brought her to another world, and reading the discarded magazines she picked up around the machine shop was a way to bring her back there, when she wasn't allowed inside. Technically, this was most of the time. The machine shop was not a place for young children, and especially not for girls.

The girls at the orphanage were all prissy, caring for their worn, threadbare clothing as if it was designer apparel. They stuck up their noses at Jun, who more often than not had dirt or grease on her clothing, and preferred to wear boys' blue jeans rather than those silly dresses the girls were offered. The other girls primped and brushed their hair for hours, while Jun simply stuck hers into pigtails or braids. As a result, the girls didn't pay any attention to her, yet neither did the boys. Jun was pretty much on her own most of the time. But she didn't mind; being on her own allowed her plenty of time to learn about engines and motorcycles. Every year at Christmas, model kits were donated to the orphanage, and these were given to the boys as gifts. Jun desperately hoped to be given a motorcycle kit this year, instead of the hair bows, aprons and dolls that were usually allocated to the girls. She knew she should be grateful to have any gift at all, but if only she could have a model kit! She longed for the day when she could finally build a motorcycle of her own.

The one source of companionship Jun had was in her assigned duties. She spent most of her afternoons working in the nursery, taking care of the youngest occupants of the orphanage. Normally, she would welcome the break on Sunday to pursue her own interests, but today she couldn't help but think of Jinpei. He would be scared and lonely, not understanding what was going on. Maybe if he saw her, she could comfort him, help him acclimate to the orphanage. It was with these thoughts in mind that she went to the nursery as soon as breakfast was finished.

"What are you doing here, Jun?" the attendant asked her. "It's Sunday."

"I want to visit with Jinpei." Jun replied. "He's the new boy that arrived yesterday. I found him wandering around Mt. Jupiter."

"New boy…" the attendant mused, looking through the records. "Oh, yes! Here he is! He was placed in bed 34."

"I'll go check on him." Jun offered, already heading toward the indicated place before the attendant could respond.

Bed 34, like most of the 'beds' in the nursery, was actually a crib, and Jun found Jinpei standing inside of his, a lost and frightened expression on his face. But when she called his name and he saw her, a tentative smile broke out on his wide face.

"Jinpei!" Jun cried, lifting him up and hugging him to her. "You smell so clean!" Unlike the previous day, his hair was no longer tangled, although it stuck out at odd angles. Jun had never seen a baby with so much hair. He smiled even wider, grabbing at her hair.

"No, Jinpei." Jun told him, looking him sternly in the face, but he refused to catch her eye. Jun deposited him into the crib, grabbing his cheeks in her hands and gently encouraging him to look at her.

"No, Jinpei. Do not grab my hair." She emphasized her words by peeling his fingers from around her pigtail. Once his hand was freed, she placed it around her neck, and the boy seemed to accept that. He let go of her other pigtail of his own accord and placed that hand around her neck as well.

"Good boy!" she told him, and Jinpei actually grinned, seeming to understand the sentiment. She was reminded that he had three teeth, all of which appeared to be sprouting at an outward angle as he displayed them to her. She wondered if they had grown that way, or if he had been through some kind of accident. But of course, there was no way Jinpei would be able to tell her such things. Come to think of it, she hadn't heard him talk at all. Weren't babies supposed to start speaking around a year old? Despite her insistence that the previous day had been his birthday, Jun was pretty certain that Jinpei was actually older than a year… perhaps fifteen months? He should be able to speak.

"You're Jinpei." she told him, placing her hand on his scrawny chest. "And I'm Jun." She then placed her hand on her own chest. Jinpei looked at her with interest, but did not make any sounds.

"Jinpei." she repeated, this time using his hand on his own chest. "Jun." She again used the boy's hand to demonstrate. There was an intelligent light in his eyes, and when she repeated the words, she felt like he understood. Yet he did not utter either name in response.

"It looks like you need a diaper change, Jinpei." Jun realized, as she hefted him in her arms. She brought him over to the changing table, and began her task. Unlike the previous day, Jinpei was relaxed and curious, looking around. As she began to wipe him clean, he giggled.

"Are you ticklish, Jinpei?" she asked him, teasing his bellybutton with her finger. Jinpei giggled again, and produced a thin stream of urine in response. Fortunately, Jun was familiar enough with changing baby boys that she had the fresh diaper ready, and was able to slap it into place before any mess was made. But as she did so, the boy looked at her expectantly, and she tickled him once again. This time, there was no doubt that he was enjoying the attention, and he laughed happily the more her fingers moved.

"You certainly are an active little guy." she told the squirmy boy, as he attempted to roll off of the table. She quickly completed the diaper change, then put him down onto the floor.

That was her big mistake. He began to run, taking off like a shot, moving between the cribs at a speed she never would have dreamed for someone so small. It seemed as if some food, a fresh diaper, and a good night's sleep had restored Jinpei's energy. Jun dashed after the toddler, chasing after him for a good two minutes before she was finally able to catch him. When he did, he smiled at her once more, pleased with their game.

"Jinpei." Jun shook her head, laughing. She wanted to tell him not to run away from her again, but the truth was that she was glad to see him so happy, so carefree, after what he had been through. She repeated the exercise of telling him his name, and hers. Yet there was no change. He simply smiled at her, appearing to comprehend the meaning behind the words, yet refusing to acknowledge them verbally.

Jun thought about it for a moment, and realized that other than laughing and crying, Jinpei had not made any sounds. Was he incapable of speech? She tickled him under his chin and looked into his mouth when it opened to giggle. His tongue appeared to be normal, and moving around. Surely he was capable of making sounds. Yet he appeared healthy outside of this, and so Jun set the issue aside. She spent the remainder of the day playing with Jinpei, feeding him, and changing his diapers, pleased to see him adapting well to life at the orphanage.

"I won't be here tomorrow morning, Jinpei." Jun told the boy, as she put him down before leaving for dinner. "I have to go to school. But I'll come by in the afternoon, when it's time for my work assignment."

"He'll be fine." one of the nursery attendants assured Jun, as she saw the girl leaving. "He has to get used to being without you. You can't always be here. Besides, you have other things going on in your life."

"Yeah." Jun agreed reluctantly, turning her head to look back toward Jinpei, who was standing up in his crib, staring at her from across the room. "But…"

"No buts." the attendant admonished gently. "I can see that you're attached to him, and that's all well and good, but he needs to be able to function without you being present. You're not his mother, Jun, nor should you be."

"Right." Jun hung her head, leaving the nursery and heading to the cafeteria for dinner. She wasn't Jinpei's mother… yet something inside wanted him to think of her in that manner. In a way, she already felt for Jinpei as… well, not a mother… more like a sister. An older sister. She hadn't realized until that moment how much she had wanted to have a sibling, and the more she thought on it, the more she liked the idea. Few children at the orphanage had any blood ties in the world. But one thing Jun had learned in her short life was that blood ties weren't necessary to develop attachments and relationships. Who cared if Jinpei came from somewhere else? They could still be brother and sister, in every way that mattered.

The more she pondered the idea, the more she liked it.

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The following day, Jun attended school, forcing herself to pay attention and do her work in a manner acceptable to her teachers. After all, if they were displeased with her performance, they could assign her to detention, or extra homework, or any number of tasks that would prevent her from going to see Jinpei. Fortunately, she rarely had any trouble at school, quickly picking up the material and often moving ahead with older children as the teachers attempted to place her with students at the same level of ability. Sometimes, this meant that Jun was working alongside much older children, particularly in math class, where there were a number of eleven and twelve year old boys who had difficulty progressing onward with the subject matter. Being small and slight, not to mention four to five years younger, and a girl to boot, Jun had earned their disdain and occasional enmity. Yet she didn't mind, as she realized that within a couple of months she would progress beyond this level, and not have to deal with them in this manner any longer.

Still, there was one advantage to being in a class with the older boys: these were the same students who worked in the machine shop. She surreptitiously listened to them discussing their work there, which they found far more enjoyable than math class. Her eager ears picked up as much as they could about engines, tools and mechanics, and more importantly, the hours the boys worked in the shop. Knowing which hours they worked meant that she knew which hours they would not be present, and this made it easier for her to sneak inside the machine shop on occasion, examining the projects there and lifting any old magazines to read later on. Only boys were permitted to work in the machine shop, but Jun desperately hoped to change the administration's mind on that matter in a couple of years when she was old enough to apply. It would help if she could demonstrate a proficiency beforehand… but obtaining such proficiency was difficult when she wasn't officially allowed to be anywhere near the machine shop.

"What are you looking at?" one of the boys sneered, when he caught her staring. "Are you copying my homework?" The boy's name was Dengu, and he was something of a leader amongst the pre-teen boys at the orphanage. As such, the other boys laughed at his feeble joke, and Dengu swung his greasy hair around in a satisfied fashion. Jun's cheeks burned with shame at having been caught looking, and she quickly returned her eyes to her work. She didn't mind the teasing so much, but it was dangerous to catch the boys' attention… especially Dengu's attention. Everyone knew that the teenage boys, who were separated from the younger children at the orphanage, were all in gangs. It was rumored that Dengu had already been recruited by a gang and was in possession of weapons. Whether or not this was true, it was dangerous to catch his eye, and Jun instantly regretted having done so.

"Just stay away from us, you little freak!" Dengu called loudly, as Jun hunched over in her chair and wished herself invisible. Fortunately, just then the teacher entered the classroom and the boys were all forced to return to their seats. Yet Jun thought she sensed their eyes on her. There was no way to tell of course, as she had to keep her eyes to the front during the lesson. It could be her imagination. Or maybe there was some sixth sense speaking to her.

She didn't know.

But she did know the lesson. For the next hour, she answered questions posed to her by the teacher, and did the work put in front of her. As usual, her answers were correct and the teacher simply told her to read ahead to the next chapter in her ancient, ratty textbook, while the older boys got extra help.

Jun didn't mind. While the textbook was technically outdated, a hand-me-down from the town schools, math hadn't really changed much in the past few decades, and as such she found the material interesting and relevant. Even better, it allowed her to lose herself in another world, far from the one she inhabited. She had never been able to distract herself from her own life as well as she did by reading a book, or one of the magazines from the machine shop… or now, when she spent time with Jinpei.

At lunchtime, she steered clear of the older boys, and sat near the other girls her own age, ignoring their superior looks and snide comments. While minorly annoying, there was no danger here. Jun had long since accepted that she would never be like other females; there was something wrong with her makeup, such that her interests were too different from what girls generally enjoyed. In a way, she liked being a loner: unique, all on her own.

But then there was Jinpei.

Jun found herself remembering the baby's goofy smile, and her attempts to get him to speak to her. Perhaps, this afternoon he would finally say a word. Something to let her know that he was listening to her.

But after school was out and she was finally able to make her way to the nursery, she found Jinpei just as silent as the previous day. He was clearly happy to see her, and did appear to be listening, his eyes wide and fixated on her as she attended to him. Yet he never uttered a word.

It didn't matter. He would. Eventually.

88888

The days went by quickly as Jun got into a routine: school, work assignments at the nursery, and the machine shop. While school and work assignments were regular hours, she usually visited the machine shop in the hour of 'free time' the children had before bedtime, or over the weekends, as that was when the shop was empty. Yet she never knew if she would have the opportunity, because sometimes the boys would be in the machine shop working on various projects, and she would have to scuttle her plans to sneak inside.

Even so, she spent any time she was not in school or the nursery reading through the magazines she had taken, or looking at books on car and motorcycle mechanics from the library. It especially helped if they had diagrams. Sometimes, the text was too dry and boring to digest, but she found that detailed diagrams helped her visualize where everything should be, until she could picture it all in her mind. Mentally, she designed her own motorcycle, and knew exactly how she'd build it… if she could only have access to the tools, the space, and the parts necessary for the job.

That was a pipe dream. She could never do anything so grand on her own, without proper access to the machine shop. So Jun instinctively settled on the next best way to demonstrate some skill: acquiring a motorcycle model.

Every year, a number of detailed car and motorcycle models were donated to the orphanage, and these were generally given away to the boys at Christmastime, particularly those who demonstrated an interest or an aptitude for mechanics. The donor was a corporate sponsor that owned a number of auto repair shops, and as such had a vested interest in training young men as a future workforce. Jun not only had her eye on one of those model kits, but eventually on one of those jobs as well. She didn't care that there were no other girls in such positions; she was used to being amongst boys, yet being ostracized. But the first step would be to obtain one of those kits and put it together, showing what she could do, to convince the administrators to let her into the machine shop as an actual student, rather than sneaking in at night when no one else was around.

And Jun knew she could do it. Sure, she had never done anything like this before, but she had read so much about it. Surely, given the chance, she could prove herself. With a childish confidence, she knew that this one kit would be all she needed to lead to bigger and better things.

Christmas was only a few weeks away. Jun decided that the easiest approach would be something direct. As such, that afternoon when school was over, before heading to the nursery for her work assignment, Jun went by the Administrator's office.

The Administrator was a kindly woman, but exhausted and clearly overwhelmed by the demands of her position. Sometimes, it seemed as if she had permanent frown lines etched into her face, which often scared the younger children into thinking that she was mean. Yet Jun knew differently. It was the Administrator who had spoken up for her, allowing Jun to be placed into higher level math classes. And Jun had seen her assisting the little ones when they were hurt, even accompanying them into the medical rooms. Perhaps the Administrator could help with this issue as well.

The office door was cracked open, and as Jun approached, she heard the Administrator's voice speaking in low, polite tones. When she peeked in, she realized that the woman was on the telephone. She saw Jun, and held up a finger, indicating that she should wait. Jun nodded, slipping inside and pressing her back against the wall, to disturb the Administrator as little as possible. The words of the woman's one-sided phone call drifted over her.

"Yes, I understand that the budget is tight, but I can't…"

"You don't understand, these children have needs, not quotas. Some require more medical care or specialized schooling… No, I can't just 'treat them the same as everyone else'." The Administrator's forehead furrowed in its usual pattern, and now Jun could hear an element of frustration underlying her words.

"You can't take away security personnel!" she exclaimed. "The situation with the older children is already at a boiling point. They're grouping together in unhealthy ways… No, I'm not talking about that; contraceptives are not going to address this issue. I mean gangs. Yes, gangs. Somehow, there's an outside influence creeping in, training these boys, and when they turn eighteen, they're joining the criminal elements… Yes, I know I have to be harsh, but I'd rather prevent such things from happening in the first place, and that's not going to happen if I can't have eyes and ears watching for these influences. I need to have more training programs, more activities, to give these kids an alternative… Yes, I know the budget is tight! You've already reminded me of that four times in this conversation alone. But I'm telling you that if these kids leave the orphanage only to commit crimes, that will incur a much higher cost on society, not to mention for your police force and…" The Administrator bowed her head, placing her face into her upturned palm for support.

"Yes, I know that's something to worry about for the future, but these children have needs _now_." the Administrator continued her plea. "If you could just explain that to the council, and request more funds, it would be of so much help. I'm not asking for a lot, only the three percent cost of living increase you allocated to the other city departments… Yes, I know the money has to come from somewhere, but didn't tax revenues increase ten percent this year? Surely, a small portion of those additional funds could be allocated…" She frowned again, the lines etching deeper into her face, as if they might never come out.

"I understand, Lord Mayor. I appreciate you listening to my concerns. If there's any possibility of a change… yes, well, I'll just hope for a miracle then. Goodbye." The Administrator slammed down the handset, so hard that Jun jumped in surprise. The Administrator looked up, equally started by the gasp coming from Jun's lips; it was clear that she had forgotten that anyone else was in the room. For her part, Jun didn't quite comprehend everything that the Administrator had said during her telephone conversation, but she understood that it had been about money. The teachers and other orphanage personnel were always saying that there wasn't enough money for things, and as such, the concept was not new to Jun. Now she saw that this went all the way to the head of the organization, and knowing this did not fill her with confidence. Still, what she wanted wouldn't cost money; the kits were donated every year. Jun was only asking for one.

"Jun." the Administrator smiled weakly. "You wanted to see me? What did you wish to discuss?"

"I…" her voice squeaked, and she suddenly found all of her courage deserting her. Still, Jun wasn't about to lose her chance. She reached deep down inside, finding something there that allowed her to pull herself up and voice her request.

"I wanted to ask about Christmas." she began.

"Christmas is still a few weeks away." the Administrator reminded her kindly.

"Yes, well…" Jun took a deep breath and jumped in with both feet. "I was wondering if we would be getting the usual gifts. The ones that are donated each year?"

"Yes, I believe we will." the Administrator assured Jun. "I have already received commitments from the usual donors. Don't worry, Jun, you will have a present at Christmas. You're… seven years old now, isn't that right?"

Jun nodded wordlessly.

"Then this year you will receive a sewing kit." the Administrator smiled. "Are you looking forward to making something? A dress or a stuffed toy?"

"No." Jun shook her head. "I don't want a sewing kit."

"Would you like an apron, then?" the Administrator asked. "Those are generally allocated to the eight and nine year old girls, but I might be able to…"

"No, not an apron either." Jun swallowed nervously, taking the final step. "I want a model kit. One of the cars… or the motorcycles."

"A motorcycle…" the Administrator took a long look at Jun, her eyes carefully studying her wide eyes, her earnest face, her patched dungarees.

"I want to get into the machine shop class when I turn nine." Jun said, all in a rush. "I know it's for boys, but I thought if I got one of the kits, I could put it together, and show them that I can do it too, that I could be there…"

"Jun, the machine shop class is for boys only." the Administrator explained gently. "Girls take the home and hearth class. You'll learn to cook and sew… things you'll need to run a household someday."

"But I don't want to run a household. I want to build a motorcycle!" Jun insisted, her eyes blazing with determination. "I _will_ build a motorcycle! But it would so much easier if I were allowed into the machine shop."

"Jun…"

"Please?" Jun asked. "I know I'm a girl, but I don't want to do those girl things. Please?"

"Jun, I…" The Administrator stopped speaking for a moment, looking carefully at her, then down at the papers on her desk.

"I understand." she said finally. "I can see that this is important to you. We normally get a limited number of kits. And I am required to allocate them to the boys: that is one of the stipulations made by the donor."

"But…" Jun felt tears coming to her eyes and she swiped at her face with the back of her hand, doing her best to force them back inside before they spilled out onto her cheeks.

"But if there is an extra…" the Administrator stopped short of promising anything, yet the possibility hung in the air, a warm glow that Jun could almost feel inside of her. "I will see what I can do."

"Thank you!" Jun cried, a smile emerging onto her face, the tears vanishing.

"There are no guarantees." the Administrator told her. "You may yet receive a sewing kit. But if there are any extra… I'll do what I can."

"Thank you." Jun nodded more solemnly, understanding that this was still uncertain. "Thanks a lot. For everything."

"I hope it works out for you, Jun." the Administrator said, her voice suddenly tired and weak. "I really do."

"I hope so too." Jun replied. And she did have a glimmer of hope. But that was more than she had had in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jun continued to spend time with Jinpei, feeling more optimistic after her visit to the Administrator. Logically, she knew that there were no promises, but emotionally, she couldn't help being excited. Her elation spilled over when she was playing with Jinpei. She pretended that she was driving a motorcycle, with Jinpei riding in front of her as she raced all around the play area, much to his delight. He would laugh and scream with joy when she did such things, but he had yet to speak a word. The nurse told her that it might be due to the trauma he had suffered, alone in the woods, that there was some kind of mental connection between that and speaking for Jinpei. Or it could simply be that the boy was slow to talk. Apparently some children just were. Still, even the nurse grew concerned when she compared his communication abilities to others about the same age.

"Jinpei." Jun would say every day, placing his hand on his chest, and then hers. "Jun." His eyes would grow wide and he would smile and nod, but not once did he ever attempt to make intelligible sounds.

"You need to learn to talk, Jinpei." Jun would admonish him. "If you don't talk, you can't ask for what you want, or speak to others." Yet when she thought about it, Jinpei had no trouble with these things. He played with the other toddlers, and when he wanted something he made himself clear, reaching and grabbing for the desired item. More often than not, Jun was the object of his desire. Jinpei would jump up and run to her when she arrived each afternoon, holding out his arms in a clear request to be picked up. Perhaps it wasn't such a big deal that he did not speak after all. But still, it bothered Jun.

Given that Jinpei didn't talk, Jun's conversations with him were very one-sided. She told him about her classes, and about her desire to work in the machine shop and to work on motorcycles. She even told him of her desire to one day have her own motorcycle and ride it. Given that Jinpei wasn't about to reveal any of her secrets, Jun felt safe talking to him, and in a way it was a relief to have someone with whom to converse. Even if that someone probably didn't understand anything she was saying.

Despite her hopeful feeling after speaking with the Administrator, Jun couldn't help worrying that she would not receive her model kit. She began to obsess more often about the machine shop, and one day when she heard the older boys talking together in math class, her ears perked up.

"I can't believe that we have to do all of this extra work!" one of the boys moaned. "I can't wait until we're done with this pathetic excuse for a school!"

"These teachers will get what's coming to them, that's for sure." Dengu muttered darkly. Jun quickly turned away when she saw his eyes moving in her direction; she didn't want to be caught under the microscope of his attention.

"And now we can't finish our projects in the machine shop." another boy said angrily. "Come on, what's more important, engines or spelling?"

"As long as you can spell 'engines', dumbass!" Dengu sneered, and the other boys laughed meanly at the comment.

"But we need to get those projects done before next week." the targeted boy attempted to change the subject, redfaced at his shaming.

"We'll get them done over the weekend." Degnu decided. "Tonight, we'll have to get thorough those papers the teachers assigned, but we can work in the machine shop tomorrow."

Jun nearly jumped in surprise. The machine shop was usually empty on weekends, and she liked to visit at that time. But if the boys were going to be there, then she wouldn't be able to go anywhere near the place.

But tonight, they would be busy…

Jun decide to seize the only opening available to her. She would visit the machine shop that very night.

88888

That night, Jun skipped dinner, so eager was she to get to the machine shop. While the shop always held allure for her, knowing that the boys were finishing their projects, and that they would be sitting there, waiting for her to study them, was enough to assuage any hunger she felt. She snuck over to the area, staying in the darker shadows as much as possible, until she got to the back entrance. Quietly, she ran her hands over the door panels, until she found the loose edge. Squeezing her small fingers inside, she was able to trigger the lock release, and she smiled in satisfaction when she heard the quiet click that accompanied her efforts. Looking around to ensure that no one else was in the area, she quickly opened the door as little as possible and slipped into the machine shop.

The first thing she did was to reset the lock. Despite her eagerness, she retained a high level of caution. There was no question that she was not allowed to be in this place, much less at night with no one else about. If Jun were caught here, she would be in serious trouble, and surely would be banned from the machine shop for life. All of her dreams were at risk.

Even so, she could not keep herself from this place. It was so fascinating: the tools, the parts, even the smell: a pungent mixture of oil and gasoline, all lit by the dim illumination from the outside lights coming in through the windows. Automatically, Jun glanced into the recycling bin, eagerly scooping up the mechanics' magazine she saw inside and stuffing it into the back pocket of her jeans. But examining her prize would have to wait. There were always more interesting things to scrutinize in the machine shop, and tonight there was the added lure of the projects.

She could see them, spread across the work areas. It looked as if the boys had been assigned the task of building small motors, but some were more elaborate than others. It appeared that one boy was actually building an entire engine. Jun stared in fascination, her eyes widening as she took in the parts used, the manner in which each connected to the next, the way each piece integrated and was designed to move with the others, all of them combining into the whole. It wasn't nearly as complex as the pictures she had seen in the magazines, but it was real, and it was right in front of her. Fascinated, Jun tentatively reached out, wanting to touch it, yet knowing that she could not risk damaging the engine, lest she be discovered.

"Get away from my project!"

The overhead lights came on, momentarily blinding Jun until her eyes adjusted, and she found herself staring up at Dengu and three of his friends.

"Well, look who we have here!" Dengu sneered, grabbing the back of Jun's shirt as she tried to run, nearly choking her in the process. "I knew there was someone sneaking into the shop and messing with our stuff, but I never dreamed that it would be this little freak!"

"A girl?" one of the boys asked in disbelief. "You really think she's the one?"

"Do you see anyone else here?" Dengu demanded, grabbing Jun's shirt more tightly, effectively reeling her in toward him. "And she was about to mess with my engine!"

"I wasn't!" Jun cried tearfully. "I just wanted…"

"She's a thief too!" another boy observed, grabbing the magazine from the back of her jeans pocket. "Look at this!"

"We knew someone was coming in here." Dengu bragged. "And my plan worked. We talked all over school today about how we wouldn't be in the shop tonight, and sure enough, someone took the bait. But I never imagined it would be you, freak." He shook Jun's shirt, causing her head to thrash about.

"I'm sorry!" she cried. "I just wanted to look!"

"And steal, apparently." Dengu sneered. "We're going to deal with you, freak. You'll never think about coming in here again."

"But she's a little girl…" one of the boys protested weakly, before Dengu smacked him across the mouth.

"She's been messing with our stuff." Dengu growled. "No one messes with our stuff. And if we let anyone get away with it, even a little girl… _especially_ a little girl… everyone else will think they can do it too." 

"You're right, Dengu." the other boys agreed. "We can't let her get away with it."

"And we're not going to." Dengu smirked. "We're…"

"What's going on in here?" The stern, authoritative voice interrupted whatever Dengu had been about to say, and instantly he released his hold on Jun's shirt. Jun took the unexpected opportunity to run, dashing off toward the exit.

"She's getting away!" one of the boys cried, and Jun suddenly found herself grabbed again from behind, this time on the shoulders.

"You can't!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "I won't! I…" Jun stopped speaking as she realized that the person who held her now was not one of the boys, but the Administrator.

"Now that that's settled," the Administrator frowned at Jun, and she felt like sinking into the floor, "what's going on here?"

"We came to work on our projects," Dengu replied smoothly, "and found her in here. She was about to mess with my engine. We all saw her trying to touch it."

"And she stole this!" another boy offered, holding out the magazine. "We found it sticking out of her pocket."

"I'll take care of this." the Administrator stated, coldly assessing the boys. Under normal circumstances, Jun would have been secretly thrilled to see them quailing under the Administrator's steely gaze, but at this moment she was far more fearful for herself. The boys were permitted to be in the machine shop, even if they were usually elsewhere at this hour. But Jun had been caught in a place she wasn't supposed to be, and now she would have to bear the consequences.

"Come with me, Jun." the Administrator intoned, and Jun nodded meekly. She kept her eyes on the ground as she left the shop, but she could hear the boys' sniggers as they watched her walk away in disgrace. Still, it was nothing compared to the dread Jun felt, knowing that she had ruined her chances of receiving a model kit, not to mention ever being allowed into the machine class.

It was a long, silent walk to the Administrator's office, and each step took increasingly more effort. The journey was excruciating, yet Jun dreaded its end, knowing that what was waiting for her was even worse.

When they finally reached the office, Jun stood in front of the desk, her head hanging in shame. The Administrator sat down, yet did not speak immediately. Instead, there was a long silence, causing Jun to shuffle nervously in place.

"Is what those boys said true?" the Administrator asked suddenly, catching Jun off guard.

"Yes," Jun admitted, unable to keep a sob from her voice, "but…"

"So you went into the machine shop on your own; they didn't take you there."

"No." Jun shook her head. "I snuck in there. I just wanted to see the projects. I wasn't going to touch anything!" Too late, she thought of the magazine she had taken from the recycling bin. Well, technically that was trash, so it wasn't stealing if no one wanted it, right?

"I see." The Administrator sounded… relieved? Jun looked up to see the woman sagging in her chair, lending credence to this thought. As if sensing Jun's eyes upon her, the Administrator suddenly straightened up, staring down at Jun.

"Those boys are dangerous." the Administrator said unexpectedly. "You need to stay away from them, Jun. And you can't go sneaking around places you don't belong, particularly in places those boys consider to be their 'turf'."

"I know, I shouldn't have gone in there. I'm sorry." Jun said tearfully. "I don't like those boys; they say mean things to me in math class. But I like to listen to them talk about the shop…"

"I think it's time you left that math class." the Administrator interrupted her. "The teacher tells me that you've moved beyond that level of study, in any case. We'll provide you with books and you can work independently from now on."

"Huh?" Jun didn't understand. Why were they talking about math instead of Jun's crime?

"Starting tomorrow, you will be assigned textbooks and told to report to the study hall during the time for math lessons."

"Okay." Jun gulped nervously. Was she going to be punished or not? The uncertainty was somehow worse than dealing with the consequences of her actions.

"Now, as for your own illicit activities, you are forbidden from entering the machine shop again."

"I understand." Jun nodded; this wasn't a punishment. Technically, it was the rule. No one was permitted to be in the machine shop unless they were in the class.

"And you will have extra work detail in the mornings, for the next week." the Administrator told her. "You will report to the cafeteria at six am and perform whatever duties the staff there deem appropriate."

"Yes." Jun acknowledged, waiting for the axe to fall. Extra work was nothing; she could handle that.

"That is all. Now get to your dormitory. It is nearly bedtime."

"That's all?" Jun exclaimed, unable to believe the light punishment she was receiving. That _couldn't_ be all. Surely she would be…

Her mouth fell open as she realized what the rest of her punishment was going to be.

"I'm not going to receive a model kit at Christmas, am I?" she asked quietly.

"Do you think you deserve one?" the Administrator countered Jun's question with one of her own.

"I don't know," Jun answered honestly, "but I need one if I ever want to get into the machine shop class…"

"I don't think that's a good place for you, Jun." the Administrator responded. "You saw what happened with those boys, and in your math class. Do you think it will be any different in a couple of years, when you are old enough to join the machine shop?"

"I don't care." Jun said defiantly, her eyes blazing at the thought that those stupid boys were going to keep her from the class she wanted.

"Isn't there another career you would consider, Jun?" the Administrator asked. "You're so young; your interests will change as you grow. I understand that you enjoy helping in the nursery, especially with that little boy you found in the woods… Jinpei?"

"I love Jinpei." Jun blurted, realizing the truth of the words as they left her mouth. "He's like… he's my little brother."

"So if you had the choice of working in the nursery or being in the machine shop, which would you prefer?"

"You mean, if I work in the machine shop, I won't see Jinpei again?" Jun's breath caught in her throat.

"I only asked, if you had the choice…"

"You can't keep me from my brother!" Jun cried out. "Please! I'll stay away from the machine shop! Just please let me keep working in the nursery! I need to see him, make sure he's okay…"

"I see." the Administrator nodded. "You can keep working in the nursery, Jun. I have my answer. You are dismissed."

"Thank you." Jun mumbled, turning for the door. She felt a weight lift from inside of her, knowing that she could at least continue to see Jinpei. Yet at the same time, her heart was heavy, knowing that she had lost her chance to get a model kit, and that the Administrator was set against her working in the machine shop.

She had messed up everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By the time Jun's extra work duty in the cafeteria was up, it was the week before Christmas. Jun spent her hours in the nursery with Jinpei, taking care of him and entertaining him. With her disappointment in ruining her chances to get a model kit weighing heavily on her, Jinpei's mischievous antics provided a welcome relief from the severity of the rest of her life. When she was not in the nursery, she kept to herself, even more than usual. Her new study arrangements for math meant that she rarely saw Dengu and his gang, although they would taunt her if they spotted her on the playground. As such, she generally hid from sight, and grew more and more isolated. A new boy came to the orphanage the day before Christmas, and while this normally might have been an event of interest, Jun barely blinked an eye. Boys were stupid, and the girls were stupid too. Jinpei was the only one worth anything, and he wouldn't even talk to her.

At least, Jinpei could enjoy Christmas. He was too young to understand the weak shadow of a holiday the kids at the Mount Jupiter Orphanage received, but old enough to appreciate the simple decorations. On the night of Christmas Eve, Jun brought Jinpei into the gym, where all assemblies were held. His eyes widened when he saw the colorful lights strung up on the walls, reaching out for them and struggling to get out of Jun's arms to touch them. It was taking more of Jun's strength every day to hold onto Jinpei when he got this way, but it was one of her primary tasks at the nursery. Jinpei was such a handful that it was her job to make sure that he disrupted things as little as possible, particularly on occasions such as this, when all of the younger children were gathered together. Jun sat down on the floor in her assigned space, crossing her legs and holding Jinpei in the circle they created, snuggling with him until at last he was content to remain with her. Jun buried her face in Jinpei's hair, smelling the warm, clean, baby scent of him. At least she had this. Much as it hurt, knowing that she would never work in the machine shop, she had Jinpei, and he filled a hole inside of her that she hadn't known existed.

The Administrator sat down in a large chair on a stage, positioned next to a tired, plastic tree that had clearly seen better days. Yet the tree was covered with colorful cardboard decorations created by the kindergarten class, and even the twelve year olds, those about to move up into the upper area of the orphanage (the teenagers were separated from the younger children, as per official policy) seemed not unmoved by the display.

The Administrator began to read _A Visit From St. Nicholas_ , and everyone grew silent as they heard the familiar words.

 _T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house…_

Of course, the children at the Mount Jupiter Orphanage did not have a house, much less parents, and Santa Claus did not visit. Yet still, they somehow could not escape the magic of the night, and the meager celebration the workers there had put together for them. The cafeteria workers passed out cookies and styrofoam cups of watered-down hot chocolate, which tasted like heaven compared to the bland meals they usually received. Jinpei smiled as he ate his cookie, alternately chewing and gumming the treat, given the limited number of teeth he possessed. He even calmed down enough for Jun to accept a cup of hot chocolate, confident that she could drink it before he could spill it on her. He seemed almost spellbound by the Administrator's soothing voice as she read the rhyming words of the tale.

 _Now Dasher, now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen…_

Now Jun was smiling too, imaging the animals in her head, controlling the magic of Santa's flying sleigh. Of course, it was ridiculous to think of flying animals powering vehicles, particularly animals that did not have wings, but something in her did not protest the ridiculousness of the tale, enjoying it purely for the sensations it evoked rather than its lack of realism.

 _And I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight…_

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!" the children all cheered, knowing what came next. Sure enough, a cart was wheeled out onto the stage, covered in unmarked boxes. There was no gift wrapping, but there was no need for such. The anonymous grey boxes provided a sufficient mystique all on their own.

The Administrator began handing out the gifts, starting with the oldest children, then moving down toward the younger ones, who were held in place under the last-minute threat of misbehavior resulting in the withholding of their present. Jun saw Dengu and the other older boys receiving their model kits, smiles lighting up their faces. Carefully watching the Administrator, Jun could see from where she was taking the boxes, carefully noting their consistent size. Jun focused herself entirely on those boxes, knowing that none of them were for her, yet all the same, still hoping…

The pile of model kits grew smaller, and smaller. The Administrator had finished with the twelve and eleven year olds, and now the ten year olds were receiving their gifts. By the time the Administrator was done with the nine year olds, there was still one model kit left. Just one…

Jun felt her heart leap as she fixed her eyes on that last kit. Normally, model kits weren't given out to children younger than nine. If only that box could be hers! She knew she had forfeited her right to a kit by sneaking into the machine shop, yet still, she found herself hoping desperately that her one Christmas gift could be the one she wanted.

And then the box was gone. Jun saw the kit being handed to an eight year old boy; the new boy who had arrived at the orphanage only that day. It was there, and then it was gone. Her hopes had vanished before her eyes. There were no kits left. She would not be receiving a model kit for Christmas.

Although Jun had known that she was unlikely to get a kit, both because such a thing had never been assured, and because she had dashed what little chance she had had when she had been caught in the machine shop, she had still held onto a thin thread of hope. And now, finding even this gone, she felt an emptiness inside, something that threatened to consume her. A tear slid down her cheek, and instinctively she gripped Jinpei tightly, crushing him against her chest.

The little boy made an indignant sound, squirming in her arms. Realizing what she had done, Jun eased her grip, allowing Jinpei to turn to look at her. Upon seeing her face, Jinpei reached out, gently touching his fingers to her cheek, passing them through the trail of wetness that crossed there. Jun tried to smile, but found it difficult to do.

"Doon."

"Huh?" Jun gulped, startled by what she had just heard. "Did you say something, Jinpei?"

"Doon." the boy repeated, patting her cheek. Then his fingers gripped a little more tightly, pulling at the side of her mouth, stretching it into a lopsided parody of a smile.

"Yes!" Jun grinned, her sadness melting away with her pleasure at this unexpected development. "I'm Jun! You're Jinpei!"

"Doon." he repeated one final time, before turning back to look at the stage and settling into her arms once more.

Suddenly, Jun didn't care that she wasn't receiving a model kit. The Christmas gift she had received was even better. Jinpei had spoken; he had called her by name. For the first time in her life, Jun felt as if she really did have a family. She recalled what the Administrator had asked her; what she would do if she had to choose. And she remembered what she had said.

She had made the right decision. Between the machine shop and a family, there was no choice. Family was everything. And if she didn't have a blood family, she would make her own. Jinpei was hers, and no one would take him away from her.

"You really are my little brother." she whispered, holding him close to her. She marveled at the feelings inside of her, so much so that she nearly missed her name being called.

Her head jerked upward, startled, and she saw the children sitting around her urging her up toward the stage. Hoisting Jinpei onto her hip, she walked up to the Administrator's chair to receive her gift. She didn't really care what was in her box; it wasn't going to be what she had asked for, and she already had what she most wanted. But she accepted her gift wordlessly, as the Administrator extracted a box from the edge of the pile and gave it to her. Jun nodded silently, then returned to her place. Jinpei, not wanting to settle down once again, began to squirm, drawing her attention away, such that it was some moments before she was able to return her attention to her gift. She opened the box, and noted the pink tissue paper inside, inwardly grimacing. There had to be something ridiculous in there, like a dress or a brush, or most likely, the dreaded sewing kit. There was no point in even looking. As if he agreed, Jinpei began bouncing in her lap, redirecting her attention once more. The Administrator was now giving gifts to the preschoolers. As she finished, the ceremony came to a conclusion, and everyone began singing Christmas carols, as the cafeteria staff handed out more cookies. Jun picked up Jinpei, ready to bring him back to the nursery, where the youngest children would receive their own gift of new storybooks, to be read by the attendants there.

As she was leaving the gym, Jun ran into the Administrator, who smiled and called her by name.

"Merry Christmas, Jun." she smiled, her tired face seeming to hold a glimmer of hope. "How did you like your gift?"

"Uh…" Jun realized that she still held the box in her left hand, as she juggled Jinpei on her hip with her right. She hadn't had a chance to peek inside the pink tissue paper.

"It was very nice." she replied perfunctorily. "Thank you."

"You haven't looked at it." the Administrator accused. "And here, I picked it out especially for you."

"You picked it out?" Jun asked, startled. She knew that the gifts were donated from corporations or other charitable organizations; gifts were not 'picked out' for anyone. Except, apparently, for Jun.

"I knew that you wanted a model kit," the Administrator explained, "but there weren't enough to go around. The corporate donor has a list of requirements for the recipients, and you do not meet those requirements."

"I understand." Jun nodded stiffly. "I said I'd rather be with Jinpei…" She looked down at the boy in her arms, who chose that moment to smile in a winning fashion at the Administrator.

"Doon!" he grinned from ear to ear.

"That's not it." the Administrator replied, smoothing her hand gently over Jinpei's head. "I would have… well, I felt badly that you couldn't get what you wanted. So I went and got something for you."

"You got something for me?" Jun gasped, a flush coming to her cheeks.

"Well, technically, it was from the budget for the storybooks for the nursery." the Administrator whispered in a conspiratorial fashion. "We received a donation of old books from the town library, so we didn't need as many new ones this year. And I figured that since you spent so much time in the nursery, part of the money allocated for that department could benefit you… well, I hope you enjoy it."

"Oh!" Jun breathed, looking down at the box in her hand. She set it down on a nearby table, pushing the pink paper aside with her free hand…

Inside was a book. But not a storybook, not a regular book. It was a book about motorcycles.

"Is this…" Jun looked up at the Administrator, her eyes shining, "mine?"

"It's for you." the Administrator. "I don't want you risking your safety taking magazines from the recycling bin any longer. This is all for you."

"Thank you!" Jun cried, suddenly grabbing the Administrator around the waist with her free hand. With Jinpei in her other arm, it ended up being an unexpected group hug, and it felt only right when the Administrator's arms briefly encircled the two of them.

"I just wanted you to have a happy Christmas." the Administrator told her.

"I have." Jun assured her. "I am."

And she was. She didn't have a model kit, but she had something special, picked out just for her. And even more, she had a little brother, a family, someone to love, who loved her back.

Maybe that hope for the future was more than a glimmer after all.


End file.
